# Simply Sock Clinic Part II – Sharp Row Heel & Turn aka Big Bang Theory

Math Word Problem

Six ladies were knitting in a sock workshop. They all were about to learn how to do the heel. They had 120 minutes to complete the heel. One lady had 50 stitches on her needles. Two had 56 stitches on their needles. Two had 40 on their needles and the last one had 89 on one and 84 on the other. If each lady had to divide stitches onto three needles, dividing a half of all stitches on one needle and a quarter each on the other two needles, then how long would it take for all of them to lose their minds.

We all slipped through the doors of Yankee Yarns on a freezing, flurry-filled Saturday. Each of us had our socks knitted up to the heel and was in absolute anticipation of learning the new skill, Short-Row Shaping.  Deborah Bown, one of the participants, even took the whole week off work so she could devote the time to her sock! I think we all brought a level of commitment to this endeavour that one would find amongst those working on the Hadron Collider. Hannah Smith summed it up best when she said, “This is when I have to choose between knitting and sleep.”

I have often heard it said that most knitters tend to view making socks with either rampant trepidation or mystical fascination. Jenny, our resident designer, said once you get around the first fiddly part when working on the toe, the heel is easier. As it is with most things, until you break through from learning to mastering, there are stumbling blocks and much (mostly me) swearing. For us on Saturday, it all started with the maths.

We all read the bit on the recipe with the formula and began counting stitches. I don’t know if it was the fact that, it being Saturday, we all plummeted into a strange dyscalculic mode. Perhaps we all just got confused with all the counting-out-loud. Whatever it was, the general frenzy of the room had Jenny going around the table checking and double checking our computations. Everyone had some sort of diagram or workings-out scribbled on their pattern.  Our Fearless Leader Sara was rocking in the corner and before you knew it we were “stash deep” in String Theory!

Well, maybe not quite but you get a general idea. You would have thought we were calculating math to discover dark matter or black holes.

“I think I found a hole,” said Sara. “Oh! No… no. It’s fine.” (Our Fearless Leader never drops the stitch!)

Out of chaos comes order. Once the arithmetic was all sorted, we could concentrate on the technique of wrap and turn on the increase. But even that got a bit transcendent when we approached the decrease. Angela Burrows got there before us and alerted us.

“You’re gonna love this,” she muttered. “It’s a right bastard to do.”

“I thought I could knit before I started to make a sock!” said Janet Garner

However, things quickly spun in a different direction. The geeks in us began to surface through the madness and it called to mind my experiences around another type of table.

“This is all witchcraft.”

“Yeah if maths doesn’t work, summon the sock demons.”

“What’s my saving throw?”

“That’s a +45 spell power and 27 to stamina.”

We all got there in the end. The best bit is we all left with our heels completed and every strand of hair on our heads.

So what was the answer to the above math word problem? Well, considering we started the workshop at Noon and were due to leave at 2 pm… the last person didn’t leave until nearly 4 pm. One of us experienced a harrowing moment when the double pointed needle broke mid row and posted it on Facebook late on Saturday night. Some of us saw each other on Monday afternoon and exchanged knowing little glances and I believe I detected a slight twitch in (name withheld)’s eye…

Using the formula C= π*d = 2*π*r. Thus pi equals the knitting circle circumference divided by its diameter. The answer is they lost their minds in 0.16666666666 seconds. Hehe…

Just jokes.

## 3 thoughts on “Simply Sock Clinic Part II – Sharp Row Heel & Turn aka Big Bang Theory”

1. Ha ha ha that really does sum up the afternoon! I must admit I wasn’t sure if everyone would emerge from the black hole, thank goodness for those sock demons 🤗🤗🤗

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1. Debbie Bown says:

Fan bloody stastic. Never laughed so much since I started knitting socks. Not sure if it’s partial delirium.

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